Having young kids exposed my sin patterns and selfishness again and again. It felt impossible to “perform” well in this role, to not lose my temper, to hit my “good mom” standard. I would yo-yo between beating myself up and then pulling up my bootstraps, determined to do better. I hit a rock-bottom several times; I was so frustrated. Why did I have to keep struggling with the same things - losing my patience, raising my voice, and just not being the mom I wanted to be moment to moment? Why, oh why, was I such a sinner?
God mercifully used this season to help me realize - again and again - the truth of the gospel. I had always said "I'm a sinner," but now I keenly felt the weight of my sin. And as I came to terms with it's weight, I continued to realize just how good the gospel really is...
While the world’s economy rewards those who trust their own goodness, God’s economy of grace rewards those who recognize their spiritual poverty. God honors the poor in spirit, the spiritual beggars with open hands, acknowledging their need for salvation. He invites the hungry, the thirsty, and the one without money to His feast, saying “come, buy wine and milk without money and without price (Isaiah 55:1).”
Only those who realize their brokenness rejoice when He comes to bind the brokenhearted. Only those who realize their captivity rejoice when the prison door swings open.
a Home & a Hunger: Songs of Kingdom Hope is a journey through scripture, beginning with the Fall and the first “hunger pangs” in Genesis 3, and ending in Revelation, when God will make His home with us forever. It tells of exile and Eden, of restlessness and rest, and of God’s beautifully “upside-down” kingdom.